Would-Be Jedi Jailed Over Lightsaber Attack

A 33-year-old man who struck customers with light sabers at the Toys R Us at Hayden Island has been sentenced to 45 days jail and possible mental-health treatment.

David Allen Canterbury told Judge Kenneth Walker that he is already seeking mental-health treatment. Canterbury also apologized to his victims.

Portland police said Canterbury swung the Star Wars sabers — one in each hand — at three customers on Dec. 14 at about 9:50 p.m. at the store at 1800 Jantzen Beach Center. He then carried the light sabers outside the store and swung at police. Officers tried to use a Taser to subdue him, but Canterbury successfully deflected one of the wires away.

Police eventually wrestled him to the ground before taking him into custody.

Today in Multnomah County Circuit Court, Canterbury pleaded no contest to fourth-degree assault and resisting arrest. The judge dismissed charges of interfering with a police officer, theft and disorderly conduct. The judge also sentenced Canterbury to two years of probation and a mental-health evaluation that could call for treatment.

Canterbury has been banned from Toys R Us. The judge did not give him additional time for violating the terms of his probation for a previous heroin-possession conviction.


OregonLive: Man who swung light sabers at Portland Toys R Us gets jail

New World Record For Most Eyebrow Raises Set By Harmon Leon

To be fair, many world records raise eyebrows, but Harmon Leon of San Francisco has just set a record for actually raising his eyebrows - 185 times to be exact.

But that's not the key. Leon's brow-raising record is very specific. It's for the "Most Eyebrow Raises While Listening To A Recording Of Jeff Daniels Reading The Gettysburg Address."

According to Recordsetter.com, which officially recognized Leon's record, anyone who wants to break it has to set it while listening to actor Jeff Daniels recitation of the Gettysburg Address, which takes about two minutes, 30 seconds.

As the video shows, it's not easy, especially since both eyebrows must be raised for the record to count.

For his hard work, Leon gets the pride of a job well done as well as a commemorative patch and very tired eyebrows.


Huffington Post: New World Record For Most Eyebrow Raises Set By Harmon Leon

Man Called 911 Asking To Fight A Cop

A 38-year-old Willowbrook man accused of calling 911 and asking to fight a police officer faces felony battery and resisting arrest charges, police said on Monday.

Police said John R. Pacella, of the 200 block of Stanhope Drive, was arrested after a 911 call from a man who “wanted to see an officer because he wanted to fight with them” about 4 a.m. on Jan. 19, police said.

When officers arrived at Pacella’s home, he shoved the officers, according to a police report.

Pacella was booked into DuPage County Jail, where he remains on $100,000 bail, according to jail records. He is charged with aggravated battery, resisting a police officer, and battery with intent to provoke or insult – all felonies – records indicate.

Willowbrook police say they have had prior contact with Pacella, who is registered sex offender.


Trib Local: Police: Willowbrook man called 911, asked to fight a cop

Embarrassing "SHCOOL X-NG" Sign Replaced Outside Manhattan High School

The painted pavement on Stanton Street outside Marta Valle High School had read "SHCOOL X-NG."

Utility workers used heavy machinery to ground up the wrongly placed "H'' and "C'' in the sign on Tuesday.

The correction was made a day after the New York Post reported the spelling error.

The words were created with industrial "textured tape'' that permanently sticks to the asphalt.

Con Ed told the Post that the error occurred when a contractor ripped up the street for utility work and replaced the existing markings.

It said the mistake outside the East Village building that houses three schools had been there since July 2010.

Initially, neighbors told the Post it had been placed there over the summer.


NBC New York: Embarrassing "SHCOOL" Sign Replaced Outside Manhattan High School

Teenage Girl Calls Cops To Report Mom Having Loud Sex

A Florida teenager who called 911 last week asked police to place her in a Christian children’s shelter because she “heard her mother having sex.”

Responding to a domestic disturbance call Thursday around 4 AM, police questioned the mother and daughter at their Panama City residence, according to a police report. The duo had been involved in a “verbal altercation,” an officer noted.

The girl, 15, told an officer that she wanted to go to a local shelter “because she heard her mother having sex” and “felt disrespected” by her 35-year-old parent’s actions. The teen acknowledged that “there was no form of abuse or neglect in the house.”

The mother explained to police that she had invited her boyfriend over and “sometime during the visit, her daughter heard them having sex and became upset.” The woman added that “their bedrooms are next to each other and she didn’t intend to wake her daughter up.”

After speaking with a representative from the shelter, the teen decided that she did not want to leave her home because “it was almost time for school.”


The Smoking Gun: Teen Calls Cops When She Hears Mom Having Sex

Nude Woman Tries to Distract Cops from Sister's Hit-and-Run Accident by Stripping, Climbing on Car

A 36-year-old Buriram woman stripped naked and climbed on top of her sister’s car to prevent police from arresting her sister for an alleged hit-and-run accident.

Sukholtha Khemthong’s nude spectacle at a Central Road intersection Jan. 5 tied up what traffic was there around 5 a.m. and drew catcalls from bystanders and embarrassed confusion from male officers who didn’t want to be seen dragging her bare portly figure from the roof of her sister Suthathip Khemthong’s Mazda.

Shouting drunkenly at officers that she shouldn’t be arrested as she's a member of the “red shirt” anti-establishment movement that backs the current national government, Sukholtha was finally coaxed into her clothing by female onlookers.

The incident occurred after 45-year-old Johann Mitterpleininger complained to police he was hit while driving his motorbike on Soi Buakow by a hit-and-run driver. Using his description of the car, police located and pulled over Suthathip who, along with her sister, were driving home after a night of drinking and partying in South Pattaya.

Suthathip tried to persuade officers she hadn’t fled the accident scene and had planned to return after dropping off her sister at their hotel. Officers weren’t buying the story and locked up the driver, who apologized for her sister, who she said often acts out when drunk.


Pattaya Mail: Nude sister comes to rescue of hit-and-run suspect

Drunk Driver Plows Car Into San Francisco Subway Tunnel

Despite efforts to prevent motorists from entering Muni’s underground rail network, an allegedly drunken driver plowed into the Duboce Portal tunnel Thursday, crashing his SUV and delaying service for hundreds of thousands of commuters.

The driver, 40-year-old Scott Mitchell of Sebastopol, raced into the tunnel at about 40 miles per hour, driving about a half-mile on the tracks before smashing into a buttress about 6 a.m., said police and Muni supervisor Tyronne Julian, who witnessed the event.

Mitchell swerved around an inbound train onto the outbound tracks, driving straight toward trains exiting the tunnel. Luckily for Mitchell, Julian radioed central command and had it halt outbound trains, averting a collision.

Last spring, Muni workers installed two large electric “Do Not Enter” signs at the tunnel opening behind the Church Street Safeway, agency spokesman Paul Rose said.

But Mitchell missed the blaring signs and entered the tunnel, a surprisingly common occurrence. There has been at least one similar incident in the last year, Rose said.

Julian has seen cars enter the tunnel before, but no one has ever driven so far down the wrong way.

“He’s real lucky he didn’t get hurt,” said Julian.

After crashing his SUV in the tunnel, Mitchell was arrested at the scene and charged with DUI, driving on tracks, and failure to obey a traffic sign, said police Officer Albie Esparza. He was released on his own recognizance later in the day.

Muni’s underground service was completely shut down for more than two hours as a result of the incident, causing long delays for the 150,000 commuters who travel on the agency’s six Metro train lines. The agency set up bus shuttles until service was restored at 8:18 a.m., said Rose.


The Examiner: Errant driver clogs up San Francisco Muni tunnel

Man Skinned And Ate Cat, Used Tail As Necklace

A transient man was arrested Wednesday on suspicion of skinning and eating cat while he camped in a warehouse in Phoenix, according to Maricopa County Superior Court documents.

The owners of a warehouse in Phoenix that was often used as a music venue reported a burglary after they opened the building and heard blaring music, according to the documents.

Police found Russell Christopher Hofstad, 24, inside of the building with a painted face and wearing the tail and intestines of the cat around his neck, according to the documents.

Hofstad said that he killed the cat because he was hungry. He also said he was going to taxidermy the cat and use the skeleton as party decorations, according to the documents.

Hofstad was released from jail Jan.10 and said that he had no where else to go so he decided to go to the building because he had been there before for raves, according to the documents.

According to court documents, Hofstad deployed a fire extinguisher and left empty alcohol bottles throughout the building.


AZ Central: Phoenix police: Transient man skinned and ate cat

Surveillance Camera Catches USPS Worker Throwing Package Over Fence

Michael Oreb couldn’t wait for the United States Postal Service to deliver his 1938 German black forest cuckoo clock. His grandparents had one, his dad has one, and now he would, too.

“I tracked it all the way from Pennsylvania to Bell Gardens to here,” said Oreb.
On the lookout for the delivery Tuesday, Oreb eyed his surveillance video but was shocked when he saw the delivery.
“I looked and he pulled up, threw it (the box) over the fence and then got in the van and drove off. I went out there and picked up the thing and he was already up the street,” said Oreb.

“I pretty much figured that it was going to be damaged from the distance that he’d thrown it,” Oreb said as he opened the box and found things were a little cuckoo with the clock.
“The chains no longer work. I guess they're jammed up in the back. And one of them is off the rails. And the second hand is catawampus, it's loose. But I don't know what the other ones do but I don't know what else is broke until I take it in and have them look at it,” said Oreb.
Oreb said he immediately called the postal service to tell them what he caught on video. He says a helpful company representative was at his door in 10 minutes, but he wouldn’t let her take the clock.
“I will take it in and find me a repairman who works on antique clocks and have them repair it and I’ll send them the bill,” said Oreb.
USPS released the following statement, “The U.S. Postal Service was dismayed to see the video of one of our employee throwing a parcel over a fence. That does not represent the kind of service we strive to provide our customers. This matter is currently being investigated to determine the appropriate actions to be taken with regards to the employee and our customer.”

Oreb doesn’t think the driver should lose his job.
“I think he should be reprimanded - maybe put through some more training and stuff like that 'cause you never know what's inside the packages when you see them,'“ he said.

Oreb installed the surveillance camera system a week ago, galvanized after the Hollywood arsonist targeted nearby homes.

“My wife didn’t feel safe ‘cuz we’ve only been here 7 months," he said. "So far, it’s worked out well.”


NBC 4: Surveillance Camera Catches USPS Worker Throwing Package

Tell Congress: Don’t censor the Web

Two bills before Congress, known as the Protect IP Act (PIPA) in the Senate and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) in the House, would censor the Web and impose harmful regulations on American business. Millions of Internet users and entrepreneurs already oppose SOPA and PIPA.

The Senate will begin voting on January 24th. Please let them know how you feel. Sign this petition urging Congress to vote NO on PIPA and SOPA before it is too late.

Tell Congress: Don’t censor the Web
Take Action Now! Sign The Petition!


1. SOPA and PIPA would censor the Web

The U.S. government could order the blocking of sites using methods similar to those employed by China. Among other things, search engines could be forced to delete entire websites from their search results. That’s why 41 human rights organizations and 110 prominent law professors have expressed grave concerns about the bills.

2. SOPA and PIPA would be job-killers because they would create a new era of uncertainty for American business

Law-abiding U.S. internet companies would have to monitor everything users link to or upload or face the risk of time-consuming litigation. That’s why AOL, EBay, Facebook, Google, LinkedIn, Mozilla, Twitter, Yahoo and Zynga wrote a letter to Congress saying these bills “pose a serious risk to our industry’s continued track record of innovation and job-creation.” It’s also why 55 of America’s most successful venture capitalists expressed concern that PIPA “would stifle investment in Internet services, throttle innovation, and hurt American competitiveness”. More than 204 entrepreneurs told Congress that PIPA and SOPA would “hurt economic growth and chill innovation”.

3. SOPA and PIPA wouldn’t stop piracy

To make matters worse, SOPA and PIPA won’t even work. The censorship regulations written into these bills won’t shut down pirate sites. These sites will just change their addresses and continue their criminal activities, while law-abiding companies will suffer high penalties for breaches they can’t possibly control.

There are effective ways to combat foreign “rogue” websites dedicated to copyright infringement and trademark counterfeiting, while preserving the innovation and dynamism that have made the Internet such an important driver of American economic growth and job creation. Congress should consider alternatives like the OPEN Act, which takes targeted and focused steps to cut off the money supply from foreign pirate sites without making US companies censor the Web.


Tell Congress: Don’t censor the Web
Take Action Now! Sign The Petition!

Oops! Passengers Incorrectly Warned of Crash Landing

The British Airways flight was halfway between Miami and Heathrow when the message was played by accident at about 3 a.m.

Many of those who were awake and heard the announcement began screaming. The plane was cruising at about 35,000 feet at the time.

Cabin staff quickly reassured passengers that the message had been played by accident.

Last night a father from Edinburgh, Scotland, who was onboard, said: "It was about 3 a.m. An alarm sounded and we were told we were about to land in the sea. I thought we were going to die."

“My wife was crying and passengers were screaming. Then they played an announcement telling us to just ignore the warnings."

Another passenger said: "When we landed they were handing out letters apologizing, but it was the worst experience of my life. I don't think BA should get away with this."

A BA spokesman said of the scare on flight BA 0206 on Friday: "The cabin crew cancelled the announcement immediately and sought to reassure customers that the flight was operating normally. We apologize to customers for causing them undue concern."

Last year, a similar message on another BA flight from Heathrow to Hong Kong also announced that the plane was about to crash.

An automated female voice played to passengers onboard the jet said: "This is an emergency announcement.

"We may shortly need to make an emergency landing on water."

The 275 passengers flying over the North Sea prepared for the worst, until cabin crew ran down the aisles to say it was all a mistake.

Michelle Lord, 32, of Preston, Lancs, said: "People were terrified, we all thought we were going to die. They said the pilot hit the wrong button because they were so close together."

Another traveller said: "I can't think of anything worse than being told your plane's about to crash." BA apologised for the "undue distress".


Travel: British Airways message error warns passengers of crash

Hi Baby Girl

What a Creep!

Gun Is A Pain In The Ass For Murder Suspect

A man wanted for murder in the Atlanta area was found with a gun in his jail cell, and lawmen believe he had the weapon hidden in his rectum when he was booked.

State Trooper Scott Merritt says at 9:30 a.m. Monday morning a car driven by Ward passed him on Highway 17 going more than 90 miles per hour. Merritt teamed up with a Duplin County trooper down the road, and pulled the car over north of Dixon.

The Highway Patrol says Ward rolled up his window and locked the doors when troopers approached the car. They say Ward was in the car with a woman claiming to be his wife, the two both refused to roll down the windows.

After some coercion, the troopers were able to get the door open and had to taze the driver to get him to comply. Ward was then taken to the hospital because he was complaining of heart problems and claimed he was unable to get out of the car because he was disabled, and could not walk. Troopers searched the man at the hospital.

Ward, who gave several false names, was then taken to the Onslow County jail. At this point lawmen say he was thoroughly searched again and put in a cell.

Eventually, jailers discovered the .38 caliber handgun in his cell.

Upon further investigation, investigators found he is wanted for first degree murder and armed robbery in Canton, Georgia. Ward was being held in Onslow County awaiting extradition back to Georgia.

His "wife" also gave a false name.

Michael Ward remains in the Onslow County jail after his arrest Monday morning.

Deputies say the gun measures 10 inches, including a 4-1/2 inch barrel.

Deputies say that Ward was searched and strip searched before he was placed into a holding cell. Jailers also made Ward perform what they call a "squat and cough" procedure.

Ward will undergo a search again today, as well as a medical evaluation at Onslow Memorial Hospital to make sure that no injury occurred.

Deputies say the gun was not loaded, but later test fired and it was found to be fully operational.


WITN: Authorities Say Murder Suspect Had Gun In Body Cavity

Woman Says Her Fake Penis Got Her Fired

Is that a Fruit-A-Freeze in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

A northeastern Pennsylvania woman is suing a South Jersey-based maker of frozen treats and other snack foods, claiming that she was wrongfully fired because she wore a prosthetic penis to work.

Pauline Davis, 45, wore the device to the J&J Snack Foods plant in Moosic, Lackawanna County, while she contemplated a gender change, according to a federal civil-rights complaint filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Scranton. She confided in several co-workers about the device, and someone told management, according to the complaint.

She subsequently was fired from her job as a packer/line inspector. Her termination, she claims, was discriminatory because a male co-worker who wore female clothing and prostheses and took hormone treatments was not fired nor disciplined.

Further, argued her Bucks County-based attorney, Lalena J. Turchi, her fake penis was concealed and "in no way interfered with her ability to do her job."

Davis filed a complaint in March 2010 with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission office in Philadelphia, claiming gender and gender-identity discrimination.

She is seeking back pay, damages for suffering and humiliation, and punitive damages, according to this week's lawsuit.

Philly: Woman says her fake penis got her fired

Man’s Marimba iPhone Ring Stops Mahler Symphony Dead

Alan Gilbert conducts the New York Philharmonic Orchestra at Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts in September.

Concertgoers at the New York Philharmonic Tuesday night did not have to be musicologists to work out that the marimba was not part of the famous work.

Conductor Alan Gilbert halted the performance of Mahler’s Ninth Symphony when the offending iPhone ringtone sounded — and persisted — a media contact at the symphony confirmed.

Just minutes from the end of the hour and a half-long piece, Gilbert turned to the phone’s owner, seated close to the front of Lincoln Center’s Avery Fisher Hall in New York City, according to an eyewitness account published by “Superconductor” blogger Paul Pelkonen.

In the ensuing pause, some in the audience reportedly called for blood, shouting: ”Kick him out!” and “$1,000 fine!” the witness recounted.

Gilbert quietly employed shame until the offender — described as an elderly man by another blogger — confirmed that the phone was off. Before continuing with the concert, Gilbert apologized and explained that normally it’s best to ignore such disturbances, but he said this was “so egregious that I could not allow it.”

This was the first time Gilbert has stopped the orchestra for a violation of the “cell-phones off” rule, the symphony media contact said, but at least the second time that it has happened in the symphony’s history.

For classical music buffs who witnessed it, there was some satisfaction to be gained from the incident, which occurred in what is otherwise a quiet and mesmerizing part of the Mahler work.

“In a way, it’s great that that schlimazel’s iPhone happened to go off at such a sweet spot in Mahler’s Ninth on Tuesday. All of us… got to exercise some righteous indignation, schadenfreude, and the adrenaline rush of watching a fight,” wrote a classical music blogger on “thousandfold echo.”

The downside, said the writer, was that after “Mahlergate” there was just no turning back the clock.

“After this kerfuffle, it’s impossible to talk about the actual music, just as it was impossible for listeners to return to the symphony’s transcendent stillness after the cellphone,” with news coverage focused on the man with the marimba, and “nary a pixel spent on what came before or after.”


iPhone News Center: Man’s marimba iPhone ring stops Mahler symphony dead

Man Accused of Assaulting Police Officer With Stuffed Monkey

A man arrested in a theft from a convenience store is accused of attacking a police officer with one of the stolen items — a stuffed monkey.

Preston James Phipps, 24, of Des Moines, was arrested late Saturday night after allegedly causing problems at the Git-N-Go convenience store at 2601 S.W. Ninth St. in Des Moines.

Police Officer Andrew Pirtle said in a report that he saw a man carrying two stuffed animals leaving the store about 10:20 p.m. Moments later the officer was flagged down and informed that the man had just made a mess in the store.

Officer Pirtle stopped the man near Southwest Ninth and Loomis Avenue. As they talked, Pirtle noted the man’s mood switched quickly from passive to aggressive. When Pirtle tried to take Phipps into custody, Phipps allegedly swung around and hit the officer in the face with a stuffed monkey.

The officer managed to control the man’s hands and apply handcuffs.

Phipps was in jail on Monday, charged with fifth-degree theft, disorderly conduct and assault on a police officer. Bond was set at $1,600.

A clerk at the store said that when she asked him what he was doing behind the counter, Phipps replied, “Don’t you worry about it. I’m going back to prison anyway.”

Police said Phipps took one pair of sunglasses, two stuffed animals (pink and orange monkeys) and two packs of smokeless tobacco.


Des Moines Register: Des Moines police officer assaulted with toy monkey

Ceiling Fan Tomato Grab

Judge Judy Sparks Hammer Attack

A 62-year-old woman was arrested Sunday morning after she hit a 65-year-old man on the head with a hammer, police say.

Janet Knowles, of Jupiter, was arrested on a charge of aggravated battery using a deadly weapon.

Jupiter Police responded to the defendant's house around 11:30 a.m. Sunday after dispatchers received a call of a domestic disturbance.

When police arrived, they interviewed the alleged victim - who was not named in the probable cause affidavit - while he held bloody paper towels on his head.

The victim told police he was watching "Judge Judy" on television while sitting on his recliner, when Knowles got "upset with Judge Judy," the affidavit says.

Knowles then hit him in the head with a hammer and the victim received a "large cut" to his head and left forearm.

He was treated at the scene by Palm Beach County Fire Rescue crews.

Knowles told police she was upset because Judge Judy was on television. She became "mad" and then hit the victim on the head with the hammer.

Knowles also began talking about a neighbor and what a neighbor was wearing, the affidavit says.

Police said Knowles could not hold a conversation with them during the investigation.

The affidavit does not say what the relationship between Knowles and the victim is.

Knowles is being held in the Palm Beach County Jail without bond.


Jupiter woman, 62, upset with 'Judge Judy' allegedly attacks man with hammer

Woman Impregnated By Dead Man

The Rolling Stones said it best, “You, you make a dead man cum.”

A 38 year old female mortuary worker is being held on $250,000 bond after becoming pregnant by one of her clients - a dead man. The alleged crime took place at the Mourning Glory Mortuary just outside of Lexington, Missouri. Police have charged Felicity Marmaduke with desecration of the dead and necrophilia.

According to a statement made to police by Marmaduke, the alleged victim experienced a post mortem erection while being bathed. Being alone, Marmaduke straddled the dead man and proceeded to have sex with him. Much to her surprise, the alleged victim came to orgasm after several minutes. A few weeks later, Marmaduke had a positive pregnancy test while receiving a routine medical exam. Upon telling her doctor the circumstances leading to the conception, the police were notified. Marmaduke was arrested without incident at her home a few blocks from the mortuary.

In a bizarre twist, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man’s estate for child support.


Dead Serious News: Dead man in mortuary impregnates woman

Mountain Dew Offers Odd Defense In Mouse Charge

Listen up Mountain Dew lovers. Here's a story that will put things into perspective for you.

An attempt to win a small court battle this week has put Mountain Dew in peril of losing a much larger war.

PepsiCo, the soft drink's parent company, defended itself against a man who claimed he found a dead mouse in a can of the citrus soda. Experts called in by PepsiCo's lawyers offered a stomach-churning explanation for why it couldn't be true: the Mountain Dew would have dissolved the mouse, turning it into a "jelly-like substance," had it been in the can of fluid from the time of its bottling until the day the plaintiff opened it, 15 months later.

Forget legal disputes over canned vermin. The new question has become: Is Mountain Dew really so corrosive that it can dissolve a mouse carcass? And if so, what does it do to your teeth and intestines? Is Mountain Dew's classic slogan — "It'll tickle yore innards" — the world's most sickening understatement?

Key to Pepsi's legal argument is that there's no chance a mouse's corpse could survive, intact, for 15 months swimming in Mountain Dew. While published studies have not been conducted on how rapidly Mountain Dew would dissolve a mouse, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the neon green soda can eat away teeth and bones in a matter of months, and would likely do quite a number on a rodent.

"I think it is plausible that it could dissolve a mouse in a few months," said Yan-Fang Ren of the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry, who has studied the effects of citric acid on bones and teeth. "But dissolving [the mouse] does not mean it will disappear, because you'll still have the collagen and the soft tissue part. It will be like rubber."

According to Ren, Mountain Dew contains citric acid, a substance naturally found in citrus fruits that exists as a powder in its purified, industrialized form. Most citrus sodas mix in the stuff to give drinks their tangy bite, while most colas, such as Coca Cola and Pepsi, incorporate phosphoric acid for the same effect. Consequently, these drinks have a low pH value around 3 (very acidic). Coca Cola, with its dark coloring and non-fruity flavor, may be the soft drink most often compared to battery acid, but in 2004, a well-known study led by dentist J. Anthony von Fraunhofer found that citrus sodas like Mountain Dew and Sprite erode tooth enamel around six times faster than colas.

When Fraunhofer's team soaked human molars in Mountain Dew for two weeks (a period of time comparable to approximately 13 years of normal beverage exposure, the researchers calculated) the molars' enamel lost more than 6 percent of its volume. Meanwhile, molars soaked in Coca Cola for two weeks lost slightly more than 1 percent of their enamel volume. (As a side note, "Diet" labels won't shield your teeth from the damage: In the study, Diet Mountain Dew eroded more than 8 percent of the tooth enamel in the course of two weeks.)

Citric acid in Mountain Dew would eat away a mouse's bones in a similar manner as it erodes teeth, breaking down the chemical bonds that hold the tissue together by infiltrating them with positively charged particles. "The acid also has a 'chelating effect' — it can combine with calcium in the bones, taking it away quicker," Ren told Life's Little Mysteries.

Your stomach and intestines, however, are built to withstand a variety of acidic digestive juices. For people with healthy digestive tracts, a little extra acid from Mountain Dew, which passes through your system relatively quickly, shouldn't harm your stomach like it does your teeth.

Defenders of Mountain Dew sometimes argue that orange juice contains as much or more citric acid as the neon green soda. "It's basically true," Ren said. "The pH of orange juice is between 3.5 and 3.8 — also very acidic. From what our experience is, yes, the rate of decay would be the same."

However, juice presents a small tradeoff: It erodes teeth, but it also provides vitamin C. "Orange juice has a healthy aspect, so people should continue to drink it," Ren said. He suggested minimizing the contact between the juice and your teeth by taking large gulps rather than small, frequent sips, then washing your mouth out with water. Or, you could use a straw.

Unlike orange juice, Mountain Dew contains no vitamin C… and, if you're lucky, no rubbery ghosts of mice, either.


MSNBC: Mountain Dew offers odd defense in mouse charge

Penis Tattoo Gives Man Permanent Erection

You’d think somebody repeatedly sticking a needle in your penis would be a little off-putting, but the 21-year-old Iranian apparently thought it would be a grand idea to have Persian script reading borow be salaamat (good luck on your journeys), and the first initial of his girlfriend’s last name (“M”) tattooed onto his little gentleman.

He was left with a permanent semi-erection as a reminder of just how good the idea was.

His case raises a number of questions, not least whether the wish for good luck is directed to the penis or to the man, and if it’s to the penis, where, exactly, is it going? But, medically speaking, how could getting penis ink give make the organ go haywire?

The answer rests in the traditional technique the man subjected himself to. “Handheld needles are used and there is no control of the depth of the needle,” Iranian urologists reported in the most recent Journal of Sexual Medicine. “Henna, ash, and other natural pigments are used by traditional tattooists. They first use their needles to penetrate the skin. Then they apply the coloring material on the perforated skin surface.”

Naturally, this proved painful. After several days, the pain subsided. Soon after it did, though, the man noticed that his nighttime woodies were lasting a long time. A week later, he had a 24/7 priapic erection.

As erectile dysfunction pill commercials constantly remind us, non-sex-related erections lasting longer than four hours are dangerous for penises. The lack of fresh blood flow can starve the spongy tissues of oxygen, destroying them and resulting in impotence.

There are two types of priapism, ischemic and non-ischemic, according to UCLA urologist Dr. Jeffrey Bassett. In a normal erection, blood flows into the penis via arteries, and as pressure builds, the veins leading out are temporarily blocked. In ischemic priapism, the veins don’t open up again.

In non-ischemic priapism, the veins allow blood out of the penile tissue, but too much blood is flowing in via the arteries and the veins can’t keep up. So blood pressure builds. This isn’t as dangerous since fresh blood is coming in all the time, but it can be pretty inconvenient. If it doesn’t resolve, either on its own or with treatment, it can cause damage in some cases.

Bassett once treated a 24-year-old skateboarder who’d traumatized his pelvic area in a skate accident. It tuned out that the injury caused a blood vessel fistula that interfered with normal flow into and out of the penis.

According to the Iranian doctors, this is what happened to the young man. The tattooist punctured too-deep holes that damaged vessels in the penis, resulting in fistulas, and then a pseudoaneurysm, a pooling of blood outside a vessel wall. They recommended he see a specialist to have the blood removed, but he rejected that idea and saw another doctor to have a shunt procedure performed. It didn’t work.

Since the fellow is still able to have sex, and achieve a more-or-less normal erection, he’s rejected any more treatments, even the one his urologists recommended in the first place.

In one of those statements you’d think nobody would actually have to make, the Iranian doctors wrote “based on our unique case, we discourage penile tattooing.”


MSNBC: Penis tattoo gives guy permanent erection

Ohio Man Drives Into Bank

West Unity Police say a man was seriously hurt after crashing into a bank Tuesday night. Police say a man in his 60's failed to yield at an intersection and crashed into the front of the Farmers and Merchants State Bank. The bank is located at 200 West Jackson Street, West Unity in Williams County. The driver was flown to Mercy St. Vincent Medical Center in Toledo. Police did not release his identity or last known condition.

The crash caused significant damage to the front of the bank, including its front doors and lobby. Crews on scene worked into Wednesday morning to clean up the mess. According to Police, the bank will be closed today for walk-in traffic, but may open its drive-up window to assist customers.

The crash remains under investigation.


13 ABC: Car crashes into bank

Crocodile Steals Australia Zoo Worker's Lawn Mower

A giant saltwater crocodile named Elvis with an apparent affinity for household machinery charged at an Australian reptile park worker Wednesday before stealing his lawn mower.

Tim Faulkner, operations manager at the Australian Reptile Park, north of Sydney, was one of three workers tending to the lawn in Elvis' enclosure when he heard reptile keeper Billy Collett let out a yelp. Faulkner looked up to see the 16-foot (5-meter), 1,100-pound (500-kilogram) crocodile lunging out of its lagoon at Collett, who warded the creature off with his mower.

"Before we knew it, the croc had the mower above his head," Faulkner said. "He got his jaws around the top of the mower and picked it up and took it underwater with him."

The workers quickly left the enclosure. Elvis, meanwhile, showed no signs of relinquishing his new toy and sat guarding it closely all morning.

Eventually, Faulkner realized he had no other choice but to go back in after the mower.

Collett lured Elvis to the opposite end of the lagoon with a heaping helping of kangaroo meat while Faulkner plunged, fully clothed, into the water. Before grabbing the mower, however, he had to search the bottom of the lagoon for two 3-inch (7-centimeter) teeth Elvis lost during the encounter. He quickly found them and escaped from the pool, unharmed and with mower in tow.

Though many may question the wisdom of going after a couple of teeth with a massive crocodile lurking just feet away, Faulkner said finding them was critical. "They clog up the filter systems," he said.

And, perhaps more important, he said, "They're a nice souvenir."

Elvis has a history of cranky behavior and has occasionally lunged at staff before, though this is the first time he has stolen something from one of the workers. The croc was initially captured in the northern Australian city of Darwin, where he had been attacking fishing boats. He was then moved to a crocodile farm, where he proceeded to kill his two crocodile girlfriends.

In 2008, he was moved to the reptile park, where he has enjoyed solitary confinement in his own enclosure.

"When they are the dominant croc, they're just full of testosterone," Faulkner said. "He's got his beautiful own yard, he wants to be a solitary creature. He's happy."

Despite having to give up the lawn mower, Elvis was clearly pleased with himself, Faulkner said.

"He's beaten us today... he's kingpin," Faulkner said. "He's going to be walking around with his chest puffed out all day."

As for the staff at the reptile park?

"I can't lie, the bosses are not going to be happy about the cost of a new lawn mower," Faulkner said with a laugh. "(But) we love it. No one's injured... and when you get scared and it all turns out to be good, it's actually quite enjoyable."


SFGate: Cranky croc steals Aussie zoo worker's lawn mower

Inappropriate Tablet On QVC

Man Tries To Use $1,000,000 Bill At Walmart

Do you have change for a million dollar bill?

A Lexington man is accused trying to use a fake $1 million bill to pay for his purchases at a Walmart.

Michael Anthony Fuller, 53, of 3 Parker St., walked into the Walmart on Lowes Boulevard in Lexington on Nov. 17. He shopped for a while, picking up a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other merchandise, totaling $476, an arrest warrant says.

When he got to the register, Fuller gave the cashier the phony bill, saying that it was real.

Store staff called police.

Fuller was later charged with attempting to obtain property by false pretense and uttering a forged instrument, both felonies, court records show.

A warrant says of the fake million-dollar bill: "There is no such thing."

The largest bill in circulation is a $100 bill. In 1969, federal officials discontinued the use of $500, $1,000, $5,000 and $10,000 bills because of lack of public use.

The largest note ever printed was the $100,000 bill, which featured President Woodrow Wilson. The bills, which were not available to the public, were printed from Dec. 18, 1934, through Jan. 9, 1935, and were used for transactions between Federal Reserve banks.

Fuller was being held Friday night in the Davidson County Jail with bond set at $17,500. He is scheduled to appear in court Tuesday.

Lexington police Sgt. Shannon Sharpe said the case is unusual.

"It is kind of strange," Sharpe said.


Winston-Salem Journal: Lexington man charged with making a fake $1 million bill and trying to spend it